Last week we talked about what to do when nothing is working.
This week I want to address another fear that many of us compassionate parents and educators have from from time to time, especially when we reflect back on the school year.
Let me know if you’ve ever had this thought…
There are so many children with so many challenges right now.
And this child in particular, (insert name), has more challenges than I can possibly address all at once.
Is the work I am doing to help build this child’s sense of safety, worth, self-efficacy, connection, and emotional regulation skills really making a difference?
In the grand scheme of things, it feels like a drop in an endless ocean of trauma and dysregulation.
Does what I do really even matter?
It’s so easy to feel discouraged when we see pictures of happy graduates all over social media this time of year, especially with a child or children not on the typical path to graduation and beyond.
But remember….
Whether we are making a difference first depends on how we are measuring success.
Does the child who is struggling feel safe around you?
Are you communicating and connecting with this child daily?
If you can say YES to either of these questions, then the answer is YES, you are making a difference!
There are so many children in the world today that do not have a trusted adult like you that they can count on, and what you are doing may not seem to have an effect, but it really, truly matters.
If you are a teacher or a parent with multiple children in your care, you may feel that there are just too many needs to meet and too many broken hearts to mend.
Remember the starfish story? The one about the little boy trying to throw each starfish back into the ocean, even thought it seemed pointless to the old man?
You might not be able to “fix” everything for every child, but that’s not the role of a caring adult, anyway.
We are here to support, nurture, and celebrate the growth – not to force it.
You can’t make a flower grow any faster by screaming “GROW! GROW!” or trying to pull its stem up or open its petals. Doing so would destroy the flower.
Growth is for the flower to do, just as growth is for our children to do.
As we nurture and support their growth, even the smallest acts of kindness and compassion can make a world of difference to each child that you come in contact with.
We never know the measure of the impact that we have. We just have to keep nurturing, supporting, and keeping that hopeful, optimistic vision!
Emily said it best…
I love this poem by Emily Dickinson… not just because I’m a former English teacher, but because it was one of my dad’s favorites, too.
Just a few months before he died, he left a handwritten copy of it lying on top of his desk. I think he knew the end was near, and these words are a beautiful and poignant summary of the way he lived his life, steadfastly caring for my mom for twenty years after she was permanently disabled by a stroke.
I hope that you will find comfort in this poem, as I have. We do make a difference, even if it’s just for one. Our efforts are not in vain!
In addition to raising and teaching our children and students with compassion, there are many other ways you can make a difference in your community and in the world!
As a community of like-minded trauma-informed changemakers, we can stand up and speak out on behalf of children who are often misunderstood and mistreated by systems and individuals who do not know about trauma or choose to ignore the neuroscience.
We can become informed and equipped as advocates for change… in our schools, our communities, and organizations that serve children.
Here are a few exciting opportunities for you to consider to empower yourself and make an even bigger difference!
So excited to share this BIG announcement with you….
The Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint and Heart-Strong International have teamed up to offer the 2023 Trauma-Informed Changemakers Summer Reading Challenge!
Join one or more of AASR’s upcoming book studies, or create your own book study, and read and discuss great books with other like-minded Changemakers! BONUS option for teachers – enroll in HSI’s Trauma-Informed Changemakers Book Study Course, and earn one graduate credit for each book study!
How to Join the Challenge:
1. Watch the video announcement
2. Download the booklist
3. Join the the Facebook group
Information about earning graduate credits will be made available next week! Watch your inbox for all the details! Or if you are super eager to get started, just reply to this email and I’ll send you more info!
P.S. Any of you who did the recent book study with AASR on the book by Dr. Lori Desautels, Intentional Neuroplasticity, are welcome to use that book study for graduate credit.
Not sure which book to read first? Our friends over at the Alliance Against Seclusion and Restraint still have a few more seats in their Book Club on this amazing new resource for teachers (and parents), Regulation and Co-Regulation: Accessible Neuroscience and Connection Strategies that Bring Calm into the Classroom.
I highly recommend the book — especially for anyone new to trauma-informed practices. Sign up today – seats fill up FAST!
Note: If the book study is full… consider running your own book club or book study – here’s a mini-course on how to do it!
HSI Certification Programs
June Cohort Enrollment Closing Soon!
HSI provides world-class Trauma-Informed Certifications programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.
NEW for 2023: The program is now self-paced so you can either choose to go through the material slowly or choose the intensive fast-track to finish the entire program during the summer and start the new school year fully certified!
Become a confident, trusted expert, and earn up to 10 accredited graduate semester units from University of the Pacific!
We still have seats in our June cohort, and right now there are still a few partial scholarships available, but the window of opportunity is closing soon.. Join now to take advantage of this offer – we may never offer this many scholarships again!
I hope this Weekly WINGS has been helpful to you!
Remember what you focus on grows.… and I’ll see you right here again next week!