When I was in my teens, our family had a cat named Scamp. She was a long-haired grey beauty with white paws, but a little on the chubby side. So she had a hard time grooming herself, and sometimes she would get mats on her back that were hard to brush out.
One day, we found Scamp lying behind the washing machine, completely listless and looking like she was very ill. We took her to the vet, who took one look at the mats on her back and made a prompt diagnosis:
“She has a fur ball from trying to groom herself,” the vet told us. “She will be fine – just give her some time and she will cough them up. If not, call me back and we can give her some special medicine to help it along. And be sure to brush her regularly to get rid of those mats.”
Two days later, our beloved Scamp was dead from kidney failure.
Sadly, the doctor had made an incorrect diagnosis based on his assumption that the most obvious problem was the cause of her symptoms.
Fast forward….
Over the past several years, my son has had anxiety, depression as a result of his early childhood trauma and some other issues that have come up with school, peers, and his sense of identity.
He has also been complaining of a variety of symptoms: not being able to sleep, not wanting to go out to do things with friends, and feeling his heart racing in crowds of people, which are all common symptoms of social anxiety.
He has also had other symptoms – facial flushing, excessive sweating, and a rapid heart rate – that we have mentioned at many doctor’s appointments to see if there was any possible other cause for medical concern. All of the doctors explained that this was most likely a symptom of his anxiety and panic attacks.
For the past 18 months or so, my son’s health has gotten worse. He started feeling out of sorts after a concussion he sustained in gym class at school. Ever since then, he has had several episodes of severe depression and a few panic attacks.
So of course, we’ve gone for x-rays, CT Scans, saw a neurologist, had an EEG, and did blood work, just to be sure all was ok medically. Everything came back just fine.
“It’s the trauma, anxiety, and depression,” the doctors told us. “Sometimes these things get worse during adolescence.”
My kiddo has continued to complain that his heart is racing, that something is very wrong with him, that he feels like he’s going to die. He has continued to have issues with school attendance, doesn’t like being outside in the sun, and has been spending a lot of his time in darkened rooms with the shades pulled.
Trauma? Depression? Anxiety?
Yes, for sure… but… maybe something else, too?
Because we have built a solid relationship of trust, I have chosen to believe what my son tells me, despite the fact that trauma and panic attacks can make things seem worse than they really are.
Even thought the labs were all normal, he has just seemed so convinced that there’s something wrong… and there’s been a steady but significant decline in his health and well-being.
He even has gone back into having some of the early explosive meltdown behaviors that he used to have early after the adoption.
Because of this, I have had that nagging feeling in my gut over the past few months that we shouldn’t stop investigating… even though all the labs were normal.
If there’s anything I’ve learned at all in this parenting journey, it’s this: NEVER IGNORE YOUR INTUITION. When your Mama Gut is telling you something is off, always, ALWAYS trust the Mama Gut!
So…. we went back to the primary doctor and asked the same questions – again – and thankfully, she believed my son, too. She sent us back to neurology, then suggested seeing an endocrinologist, just to rule everything out.
We finally got an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist… but not just ANY endocrinologist.
“We’ve got an unusual, complicated case… so please assign us to the best. We want your version of Dr. House,” I told the nurse scheduling our appointment. So she did!
We had to wait, but we finally got in.
When we finally talked to the endocrinologist, I told him this, with a very firm Mother Bear tone:
“I know that my son just had a panic attack in your waiting room. I know he has a very thick file of psychiatric diagnoses and hospitalizations related to his trauma. I know this is the most obvious reason for his anxiety, flushed face, and racing heart. But…. I’m asking you to put all of that aside and look for ALL other possible diagnoses, just in case. Because he tells me he is very sick, and I believe him.”
Thankfully, the doctor did exactly that.
We went for lab tests, and it took some time to get the results back because he tested for some unusual things as well as other more obvious endocrine related illnesses.
Last week while we were waiting for the final lab results, my son had a massive meltdown in a hot car that resulted in a visit to the Emergency Room. He’s home now, and all is calm.
Two days ago, I got a call from the endocrinologist.
The news?
My son has Graves Disease, which causes hyperthyroidism.
This is the reason why he is having such horrible, debilitating symptoms. Apparently, even though he has been having the symptoms for almost two years now, the labs didn’t shown anything abnormal until now.
So, it’s not “just the anxiety” – although being so sick is certainly MAKING him anxious!
To be absolutely clear, he still has Complex Developmental Trauma, anxiety, and depression. This physical disease is just one more piece of the puzzle of why things have been so hard for him recently and why we’ve seen such an increase in his irritability and mood swings.
We have lots of treatment options to consider and this roller coaster isn’t finished yet. It’s going to take a lot of patience and a careful, strategic plan to address effectively because he often has side effects with medications. As with everything else on this journey, we will take it one day at a time.
But for now, my initial reaction to the news is overwhelming RELIEF to finally have a reason for what he has been dealing with for so long.
I’m so glad I listened to my son and my intuition.
I wish my family and I had done the same for our poor cat, Scamp.
Listen up, parents….
There will be times when you disagree with a professional.
When that happens, do not give up! Go into Mama Bear mode and keep searching and probing and pushing until you get the answers you need.
When your kid has obvious mental health issues, doctors and mental health professionals are going to assume that EVERYTHING is about the mental health issue. Sometimes, it’s NOT!
Doctors are not gods. They are human, and they make mistakes. Don’t let them intimidate you or dismiss your concerns.
YOU are the parent. YOU know your child better than anyone else.
TRUST THE MAMA GUT. ALWAYS.
Even if it turns out your suspicions are wrong, it’s much better to keep going until your intuition is satisfied that no stone has been left unturned.
Ask questions. Get more tests done. Get a second opinion if something seems off.
Your kid’s health and maybe even life could depend on it!
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Are you the parent of a child with Complex Developmental Trauma?
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Thank you for sharing. I have a soon to be adopted son 11 yrs old. He sweats profusely and gets red in the face. They told me that it is from his weight and trauma. He doesn’t complain of a racing heart but his pulse is always so high. They did check bloodwork recently and everything came back normal. I am going to push to get this checked out but I was wondering did they do a special test or was it the same test just different results?
Hi Melissa! Same test – different results. We saw an endocrinologist this time!